Відео

Recognizing my real vulnerabilities was so key to understanding why ai wasn't connecting deeper. I sure fooled myself thinking I was being open without being a burden.

Really great video. Thanks 🙏

Been kind, communicated, made sure we was on board, they lie and once you are attached or all in they change, it doesn't matter what you do if another person is not healthy and learning you to understand how to get reactions from you by breadcrumbing you, it becomes a viscous cycle, many people find themselves now caught in circumstances they can't get out of not because they were hasty or jumped in to soon, not because they didn't state their needs, not because they're not kind, not because they did anything wrong, the reality is we have many manipulators in live that know how to string you along, appear and even agree, act a certain way for a length of time, then 3/4 yrs down the road, switch it all up now you're married, you also are tied to them fiscally and they often have isolated you from your family whom in many cases you may not be close too due to trauma, dysfunction, drugs etc, I wish we spoke about that reality and stop acting as if avoidants and manipulators somehow show as such, we miss the flags or did not communicate!

50/50% is always fail/fail.

I just broke up with an avoidant. I’m going to try something with him since we work together. Let you know what happens

Wouldn’t an interested, mature person tell you why they are being distant instead of having to be questioned about it?

I met a guy i thought he was so madly in love with me , did everything to make me feel secure and he was so sweet then after 1 year he changed into a angry, complains about his aches and pains ,he tells me that i should find a rich young guy that can take care of me better. Im so confused, he still gives me hugs and tells me he loves me, but stopped everything else ,he stopped having sex with me. I dont know what to think. I give and i give and he takes and takes. He doesn't work and has his own house, but moved in with me. I don't know if he knows what he wants ,hes my first boyfriend and im 68 years old ,im a Widow and never had to deal with this wishy washy life he has. Hes 60 but acts like a child man. I want to cut all ties with him ,but im afraid he will not go. I'm stuck.

She's MIGHT just be the most humble and HEART WARMING PERSON to EXIST🖤🩷🤎

New sub ty

Very distracting, beautiful lady should just have natural brows.

My dog doesn't exhibit any of these qualities. WOOF !

My DA is different. I believe he has been in therapy before because he is VERY careful with what to say. He came into our situationship telling me that he only wanted sex. I told him I wanted a relationship. He gets close and then he starts stonewalling the whole time telling me he only wants the physical. I say fine, we should just stop seeing each other, I wish you the best. A week later, he’s back on my phone. And then the cycle repeats. I’m usually the one to run because I’m the one not getting my needs met. I want a connection and he doesn’t. But he won’t leave me alone. It’s like he feels like I’m never going to leave him alone. In the beginning he told me he was toxic and he likes to say things he doesn’t mean and that his sex is toxic and causes women to fall for him. Lol huge ego. This has been going on for 6 months. He has been pretty consistent with us seeing each other until now. I haven’t seen him in 5 weeks. I told him I love him and I think that freaked him out. I don’t care. He’s going to get this love and affection or get the hell on lmao. I’m with the shits lol. I love him and he can’t make me not love him. So if he hates feelings, eventually he will disappear because I’m not changing who I am because he is insecure. Either accept the love or go away. I don’t call or text him. I let him come to me. And he still texts, I just haven’t seen him in over a month. I just find it funny that he basically told me he was a dismissive avoidant without telling me he’s a dismissive avoidant lol. I know he cares about me and he is very attracted to me. He told me he is addicted to the sex. I told him he isn’t, he is addicted to the energy. Meh, I’m not waiting for him because he hasn’t went anywhere. Basically with these types, you have to treat them like crap for them to love you lol. Thats all they know is toxicity and dysfunction

I am FA and was discarded by a DA after many years. I did not know any of this at the time but now I do. I’m struggling to heal almost 2 years later.

This was such a great video Thais, thank you!

I have a lot of both styles according to this video

I love how the recent generations haven’t come up with anything, so they just rename the stuff we already have… in my time, it’s called, leading someone on… nothing new under the sun, kiddo

I was definitely in that kind of a relationship

THEY’RE just not that into you 😂

Why are people addressing it at all. ( I’m looking for ………… blah blah ) just STOP

🩵👍🏻✌🏻

This is me and my ex to a T. Whew. Thank you so much for this content.

What if they have some of both?? How do we approach that?

What is bread crumbling? When someone gives you crumbs instead of the whole loaf. Wtf? That's your explanation? No examples other than sporadic texts or one word answers? smh. Bad explanation of bread crumbing when that is what the entire video is supposed to be about. waste of time.

really good channel :)

That’s why I’m dating for a serious relationship in Colombia 🇨🇴 and Dominican Republic 🇩🇴 Women over estimate their value and feel they have endless options in America 🇺🇸

Can you be a mix of the two? ❤

I like this short Thais

Trust me, she's not worth it.

Nice breakdown. It pretty much confirms my friend is an FA. I'm going to share this video with her.

After years of a sex only 'relationship' with an avoidant he has finally said the truth, which is, he would be with me and have a daily relationship with me if only i had plastic surgery (breast augmentation). Which is a complete no no for me. So disappointed and broken. No words.

She expects people,mainly women,to act with male logic.Good luck with that. I'm glad someone has all the answers 😆.

What is the "Power Struggle Stage" of a relationship?

Are large eyebrows the latest fashion trend? Seeing a lot of them lately.

It would be interesting to understand why people keep hanging on to unsuccessful relationships.

I've been struggling to know if I'm DA or FA. I think i'm quite clearly on the DA side. This video helped me clarify that finally! Quite the relief, thanks. Now to work on it ... 🙃

Appreciate this comparison; it explains so much for me ❤️‍🩹

Thank you. This video was vlear an helpful. I am dealing with both FA and DA types in my life and I've always suspected that a narcissist can have a terrible impact on an adult leaning FA.

Friendships aswell x

Could relate to both of these I understand there is overlap, but is specifically categorizing ourselves into one of the two choices crucial?

It is crucial to understand this that if your partner is genuinely uninterested in you or just have avoidant attachment style wether it is DA aur FA because a person might show these similar signs if he/she not genuinely interested in you.

My Ex-DA do seem similar relationship wise on the outside, but when tryin to make it work it just wont without the real work, individually and together. Like an hour commitment per week. It was too much for him but I just hit my 1 year with no plans to stop!

FA’s tend to have more fear and anger which causes trust issues. They also tend to gaslight more in relationships. The DA is more consistent in pushing people away and is more of the stonewalling type.

Literally my exact situation. Thank you.

My wife cut me down to sex just once a month. Yes, just once a month. That's not bad though, cause a few guys I know she cut out completely!

I’m a FA & often get in relationships with DAs. They bring out my anxious side but I understand their avoidant side. But often what ends it it’s them triggering my anxiety & I end it. I’m glad I know this but I hate it at the same time.

I just heard a lot of “secure attachment people” many times and then my ADHD brain just turned dizzy, 😵‍💫

Most of the time I am secure but I dated an avoidant for the first time in my life. I behaved very very anxious after our discussion with the DA bf. I felt that I overwhelmed him being anxious, even he told me never text him again. I now feel like he will never ever want me back. He said we need to break up, it is not about I don't love you. Do you think no contact will still work for us? Well, the second one is not applicable now, too late :)

When i was first introduced to attachment theory i initially thought i was AP and my partner was FA. With more learning and further understanding and really getting in tuned with the information, i later learned that i am in fact the FA and he is DA.

I noticed you’ve been redoing some of your older videos in an updated format. I’m particularly enjoying the last two demonstrating the difference between FA vs. DA, and FA vs. AA. I would love to see an updated version about FA leaning dismissive vs. DA leaning fearful. Also, I don’t recall you doing a video about FA leaning anxious vs. anxious leading FA. I’m also still hoping to eventually see individual videos elaborating on the five different sub-types of FAs and four different types of DAs, so for instance, a video all about the internal FA, or a video all about the enmeshed DA, etc.

I think my ex is struggling with borderline. But it feels a lot like fearful avoidant too. I’d love to see a video on how they overlap and how they’re different.